So often the biggest problem with me is me.
I am my own biggest problem.
Not the circumstance I find myself in. Not the choices of others.
But the stuff within me. That seeks to control me.
Fear that stymies courage.
Pain that hinders growth.
Pride that conquers all.
I've seen the enemy. And he is me.
My own evil desires. My sin nature within me. My compulsions toward control, posture, pleasure, image, recognition, unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, laziness. These and so many more lurk within. And they lurch for control.
And, bless my heart, I'm stuck with me. You think you've gotta it bad putting up with me sometimes? Well, you don't have to live inside this head. I gotta put up with myself all the time.
Or do I?
Can I somehow replace all that desires evil and ill with something that is better than I can imagine or achieve on my own?
Can I surrender self?
Can I hand-off my biggest problem?
Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored. Romans 8:5-8 MSG
Having made that life changing handoff, let me resist wresting control back again. Or again. Or again and again.
What's your biggest problem?
How do you handle it?
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