Short word. Long time.
I’m the positive sort; optimistic, even idealistic at times. I’m also realistic; not naive, but pragmatic. Call me the Pragmatic Optimist. But I’m facing something tomorrow that has me concerned. I want to be optimistic, yet I’ve got to be practical as well.
I’m a runner. Or, possibly, was a runner.
I do not know if I will ever run again. Ever.
Small word. Great import.
After running a fast and fun Market to Market Relay with my team October 11th, I set a personal goal of pursuing a new half marathon PR. I was excited by the relay and energized by my goal. Then something was wrong.
On my next three runs—each standard, three mile jaunts—I felt a pain in my right knee unlike any I’d ever had before. I’ve run 5000 miles and four marathons over the past seven years, so I’ve experienced a little of every setback a runner might face. This was different. Following that third run it hurt so bad I fought tears of pain. And despair.
Instinctively, I knew there must be a cartilage tear. I knew it’d mean surgery. I knew it might mean I’d never run, or run the same, again.
Tomorrow I'll have arthroscopic micro fracture surgery. My doctor will cut the cartilage flap off the anterior medial condyle of my right femur then drill into my femur to cause new cartilage to grow. It’s a common procedure. It does mean eight weeks on crutches. I should recover well. I should be able to run again. I may not, however, ever run the same again.
There's that word again: Ever.
Don’t quite reading yet and misjudge my intent in writing. I’m not looking for sympathy—“Poor fella may not be able to run. Bless his heart.” I’m not complaining—“What a whiner! Deal with it.” I am desirous that you and I ponder a different perspective—“How amazing? What a blessing!”
Everything we have—our abilities, talents, possessions, friends, and family—is on loan from God.
Everything we are—our personality, character, thoughts, goals, and dreams—is through God.
The realization that everything is by God’s grace is humbling. Humility is liberating. Stewardship is empowering.
I may not ever run again. And that’s okay. I said it. Why can I say it? I have so, so, so much more to live for and be thankful for. Don’t we all?
Consider everything. Humbled evermore.
What do you have that you did not receive?
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