Thou, O Lord

2009 was a tough year.

Threats & concerns that my ministry here was over. My errors & shortcomings discussed evident. Stung by some. Embraced by others. My failure palpable. My grief overwhelming at times. Trying to live life as a hubby & daddy, continue to minister, & act like all is well. Broken & humbled. Experiencing God’s grace profoundly.

Late Autumn during a week away with family God gave me peace. No matter what. Stay or go. He was in control. He’d take care of my family. My church. Me. He loved more than I could know or imagine.

Weeks later I headed out for a Saturday morning long run. Eight degrees. New worship music loaded on my iPod. My first listen. I did worship. With each breath. Each step. Through the cold. The dark. Each note. Each word. Through my pain. The grief.

And then. First time I’d ever heard it.

Many are they increased that troubled me
Many are they that rise up against me
Many there be which say of my soul
There is no help for him in God

Tears. Rolling down. Weeping. As I ran.

But thou, O Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, O Lord are shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

Tears. Freezing on my cheeks. Joyful. As I ran. 

I cried unto the Lord with my voice
And he heard me out of His holy hill
I laid me down and slept and awaked
For the Lord sustained, for he sustained me

Arms. Uplifted in praise. Emboldened. As I ran.

Thou, O Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, O Lord are shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

Voice. Lifted in worship. Strengthened. As I ran.

Don’t know how many times I replayed it. Felt like I was running on air the remaining eight miles to loop back home. Those words of the Third Psalm inspiring me.

I have a second chance. Redemption.

We have a God of second chances. A Redeemer.

Why don’t you come back to Him? Your Protector, Provider, Redeemer.

Forty

Forty observations on life celebrating my fortieth birthday. Some serious. Some not so much. You decide.

1. Never cease to by amazed by God’s grace. Thank Him.
2. Help. I need somebody. We all need help at times. Be willing.
3. Friends are essential equipment for life well live. Be one.
4. Mayonnaise tastes good. Especially on french fries. Try.
5. Sleep is a gift. Don’t hate if you don’t have it.
6. Crying is good. Joyful. Painful. Griefful. Let it out.
7. Dr. Pepper really does make life taste better. 10-2-4.
8. Laugh. Loud & often. Thank me later.
9. Hair needs trimming. Nose & ear hairs with age. Agh!
10. Be courageous. Your gut is right. Mostly.
11. Chill. Too serious is too bad. Loosen up a little.
12. Trust God. And others. Mystery makes you stronger.
13. A day without peanut butter is not a day. Mmmm.
14. Inspiration is essential. Search it out. Dream.
15. Seasons change. Enjoy the difference.
16. Eat more fruit & veggies. Ask my wife.
17. Run. For your life.
18. God gives grace to the humble. Be broken.
19. Show your faith. Sacrifice.
20. Growth is change for the better. Don’t die.
21. Chocolate. Just as long as you have some in the house.
22. Memories are priceless. Hold on.
23. Patience. Its a virtue hard earned. Worth the wait.
24. Be a kid. I act like I’m 6 (or 66). Ask my wife that one too.
25. Give your heart. God says you’ll find Him.
26. A lion’s roar. In the wild. Will surprise you.
27. Forgiveness is the best gift. To give yourself too.
28. Pain reminds us we’re human. Don’t curse. Thank God.
29. Follow Jesus. The best decision you’ll ever make.
30. We need a big God. Don’t limit him by your thinking. Or faith.
31. Have passion. Live for something.
32. Stretch your brain. Learn.
33. Two words: Ice cream. Two more: Blue Bell.
34. Comfort is a virtue. No matter what others say.
35. Give. It’s best.
36. Love with everything you’ve got. You can do it.
37. Order is nice, but life is unpredictable. Be flexible.
38. Treasure family. God gave you one another.
39. Listen. You’ll learn things you never knew.
40. Don’t tell your wife not to interrupt when writing your forty things. Trust me.

Crunchy Mouth

We're eating our super sale price purchased Little Debbie snacks for a fun, little dessert after lunch today. John Mark eats... or inhales... his Honey Bun before Melanie has opened her Nutty Bar wrapper. Being the Linebacker Toddler he is. Not afraid to ask. Not up on all his manners. Determined. Hungry. Answering his stomach's call. He begins to ask. Possibly whine. Wanting his Mama's Nutty Bars. Both of them.

Melanie kindly offers one.

"John Mark," trying to teach thankfulness & encourage contentedness, "what should you say?" I ask.

His crunchy mouth reply, "Give me the other one."

If it wasn't so funny to us, we'd have cried.

If it wasn't so true of us, we'd have scolded.

One Nutty Bar does not a glutton make. But "the other one" does a glutton illustrate.

Gluttony is the sin of too little & not enough. Always more. Rarely content. Appetite long. Patience short. Gluttony is not only about the stomach. But the wallet. The calendar. The toys. The stuff. The mind. It is control. Yet it controls. Gluttony is the sin elephant in the room of every Christ follower.

Give me the other one.

Out of the mouth of a babe. The first not fully in the mouth of the babe.

Am I a babe?

With a crunchy mouth reply?

Magic Bible

As a pastor. As a friend. As a person. Who doesn't like injustice or suffering or pain or any such ugliness. I've said before, "I wish I had a Magic Bible."

There is no such thing as a Magic Bible. The references to magic in the Bible are negative. Yet. There have been times when faced with a situation or a person I wish I could change, I would make the incongruous statement, "I wish I had a Magic Bible."

Some folks who needed it: I'd whop 'em over the head to straighten 'em out.

Other folks, the kinder type: I'd wave it gently to make everything better.

There is no such thing as a Magic Bible. But wouldn't it be nice if we could straighten folks out or make everything better as we chose?

I've got friends now. Dear people. Suffering. Heartbroken. Hurting. Questioning. Confused. I wish I had Magic Bible. I'd make it all right.

I've got no whopin' needing folks around right now. Just the waving kind. So, heartsick for them, I was thinking this Magic Bible silliness when I was convicted. By someone real. With real power. The Holy Spirit.

"You don't need a Magic Bible. You've got prayer. Pray for God to do something so big, so good, so unbelievable that only He can get the credit."

Alright, then. Let me start with this one:

God, you are Big. You are Love. Will you, please, move. Show us your hand. Demonstrate your power. We don't deserve it. We can't earn it. But you are gracious beyond belief. And merciful past understanding. We love you, Father, and we beg you, please, for your glory. Move. Touch. Heal. Restore. Convict us to pray. Embolden us with courage. Strengthen us to persevere. We are your people. We offer the sacrifices of self. We sing glory & praise to you. You tell us that "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Teach us to be effectual. Fill us to be fervent. And for your glory, by your power, may our prayers much avail. Amen.

Draw the Line

LifeWay's January edition of Home Life magazine featured my first-ever nationally published piece. A reworked my Drop Zone post. I took out proper names other than Seth. Made a few changes to sentence structure. Added a concluding paragraph with some lessons for parents. Submitted it & found out 10 months ago that I'd be published.

I am thankful for their choosing me. An honor to be in their magazine. As a newbie writer I need all the editorial help I can get. I am thankful for their expertise. Furthermore, they know what their readers want. But their editors made one change I must address.

I drive a sporty 1996 Saturn SL-2.

Not a minivan.

Man's gotta draw the line somewhere.